And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like..

‘…um, yeah.. I’ve been trying to get hold of you, but haven’t managed to speak to you.’

Really? Did you leave a voicemail giving me a good time to call you back?

‘No..’

Did you send a text?

‘No’

Did you send an email to melody@melodybbw.co.uk?

‘No’

Did you try messaging me on Twitter?

‘No’

Did you fill in the contact form on my site?

‘No’

So.. you basically called me, and didn’t leave me with any kind of impression that you wanted to speak to me. And when was this?

‘Umm.. last week..’

Yes, well…it did say on most pages on my website that I was on holiday. But you would have spotted that after reading my site, wouldn’t you? You did read my site, didn’t you?

‘Well… I just kind of looked at the pictures and got your number.’

Right. Well. Do hold the line whilst I put you through to my call centre.

‘Um. Ok….

Hello….

Hello……….?’

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