I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying…

I’m alive!

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve spent the last few days laid up in bed with ‘the vapours’.

Yup, another bout of man-flu floored me. I thought I was fully prepared for winter – coat, hat, gloves, scarf – but nope, I obviously missed something off the list and therefore fell foul to a chill.

But it gave me a chance to chill out, and catch up on all things email/forums/twittertastic. Yes, I delved once more unto the Twitter sphere, and am kind of getting the hang of it this time! It’s more addictive this time around, and I’m not too scared to tweet some of my childhood crushes! I also get to geek out massively! Honestly, I feel so much better about that when I see what some people are nattering about.

Anyway, I expect I shall use it for waffle and special offers, so follow me at BBWMelody. I promise, I will only use my new found powers for good.

Speaking of New Things, I’ve had several chats, emails, and phone calls about This Post – at the moment, it’s working title is the ‘Long Term Girlfriend Experience’ (taken – of course – from the usual GFE we ladies of negotiable affection normally dish out). And I guess the time has come to expand on it.

Which I’ve just spent an hour trying to do. The next part is going to sound all very long winded, and might not make much sense. However, like a good girl I’ve showed all my workings out, but it’s just not quite there.

The problem is – of course – making the prices look good by comparison to each other, as well the GFE services.  It’s at this point where I need an economics expert to make a graph about depreciation and…stuff.

I’ll colour it in.

So excuse me whilst I take out my flip chart and pens, and begin doing a bit of brainstorming…

So – It’s not a sexual service, but it should also be more intimate than these so-called ‘no sex’ escorts. It should be comfort, and cuddles, and kissing, and..soft. But there’s that fine line between affection and intimacy, and sex. I think a polite reminder could be in order to have some funds as a back up, just in case they do find themselves wanting more..? So there’s a basic charge for the company and intimacy, with an extra charge (just my normal outcall rate) if it goes above and beyond.

The Dinner Date

Normally, a dinner date is a meal out, and two hours private time for £400, 2 hours outcall without the dinner is £300, so from that we know that £100 is for my time and companionship.  Sounds fine by me. A modest £100 is it, which includes my travel fee.

But that would just be for dinner alone, which sounds a bit…umm..plain? Ok, lets keep it there and assume there are people out there who just want to have a bit of company whilst they eat 🙂 I can make up a new category..

An Evening Out

Here we go – a meal and maybe theatre? Cinema? Or even just a walk around town.  Basically just a nice little package for someone who’s in town for the night, and wants to take in a bit of Lovely London. So…£150? Yeah? That’s not bad for an evening of my company. See, I’m pretty cheap when I don’t have to get my clothes off..! And if anyone’s interested, I’d highly recommend ‘Ghost Stories’ at the Duke of York.

An Evening In

Ok, this is where it all becomes about just having a nice evening in. Maybe doing a bit of cooking, watching TV, and snuggling on the sofa. Let’s have a nice relaxing couple of hours – no need for a strict time limit, just a vague understanding that I’ll need to leave before bedtime.

Now, the only thing is, is that this needs to be outcalls only as I just can’t accommodate anything other than bedroom antics. Mainly because I just can’t be bothered with the hoovering. Plus it’s more comfortable for the client when they’re in their own environment. And me, actually. I’m a terrible hostess, I always fret. I can’t explain it anymore than that. There’s just a lot of fretting..

I’m much better at just chilling on a sofa, watching The Apprentice.

However, as I can see this kind of thing appealing to the newly single men out there, I can’t really imagine that being a problem.

So price…let’s see..It needs to be reasonable enough for it to appeal to someone to pay for, but also enough to make it worth my time./ After all, you have to realise that a lot of work and effort goes into gals like me getting ready for guys like you. Even with something like this, there’s still scrubbing and shaving, along with hair & make-up.  Wardrobe doesn’t really need to be stressed about. This is – after all – all about relaxing, and being chilled.

I really want this to feel like you’ve just invited your girlfriend over for a night in. But I also have to price it so that comparatively the other services are also worth while.

Ok, let’s put it at £100.

The Overnight

It should be more than a ‘companion’, but not as much as an escort. I stopped doing overnights because you do just feel like you’re at their beck & call for sex for hours. It’s exhausting! Especially if you’re not too keen on the ole ‘morning glory’ 😉 So the fact that sex will be extra has to be firmly pressed upon the client. Each time.

So, going on an overnight, my workings out are thus;

Basic rate: £250- Includes a nice bit of companionship for a night in. A reasonable amount of cuddles, and kisses (but seriously, don’t try keeping your tongue in my mouth for hours on end, or squeezing the life out of me for ages. This is based on a reasonable amount of closeness. It’s not a cheap overnight.)

If it gets a bit more exciting, then my normal 1 hour rate applies. So £175.

Which, if you compare to what I’d charge for an overnight, kind of works. 4 hours of GFE type shenanigans + general companionship = £950.

Now, for an overnight, I used to charge £1000 anyway, and that would generally involve a lot more hours of…ahem..physical exhertion.

Geddit? Gottit? Good. 


Dinner Date

On second thoughts, this might be better as a ‘getting to know you’ thing. I’m not going to kid myself, I’m not going to be taken to anyone’s party, soiree or ambassadors reception any time soon, but if someone’s looking for a companion rather than big, bouncy, sexy stuff, then they might be a bit shy. So lets have this as a meet-up kinda thing. So..cheaper. My half hour GFE is £75, so let’s take it down to basics and make it £60. Like everyone else.

Shall we break it down into bite size chunk?

Dinner only/ Initial meet – £60

A night on the town- £150

An evening in – £100

Overnight (for the snugglers & spooners out there!) – £250

If things progress, and clients want to take things further, then my £175 outcall GFE charge applies. But it’s not an ‘upsell’ thing. I’m not going to be showing up in lingerie, trying to jump anyone’s bones, just to get extra cash.

Truth is, I’m pretty good at just talking, relaxing, chillaxing and being a bit of company. I can do spag bol infront of ‘I’m a Celebrity’, or a pot of pringles whilst playing on the X-Box, or appreciating the latest theatrical masterpeice..such as – for instance, off the top of my head –  ‘Ghost stories’.

Ooh! It has Reece Shearsmith in until January! Imagine that…

Sooooo…opinions? Suggestions? Feedback?

(Obviously I’ve already had many hilarious names for it – such as

‘No sex please, We’re British.’, ‘Fully Cloth’ed (as in ‘Fully Loaded’…it was funnier when he said it) and ‘The Snuggle Service’ (which is my secret favourite so far, if only because it make me sound both like a train, and a set of crockery)

– but you’re welcome to suggest more)


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One Response to “I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying…”

  1. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" Says:

    In any business, you never want to go after people who don’t have the means AND the willingness to pay. Target more specifically – say, bankers in X borough who are commitment-shy -and you will make more money if you charge accordingly and market yourself well.

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