Every minute’s like an hour, every hour’s like a minute…

Well, after quite a smooth, relaxing few days last week, we appear to have entered silly season again!

One rule of thumb appears to be that the less they want to pay, the more they want.

Me: Hello?

He: Yeah, hi. I’d like to come over about 1?

Me: No problem, anything in particular you’re looking for?

He: Yeah, I loved that nurses outfit you;re wearing, but could you also put on the domination one too? Maybe halfway through for some tie & tease?

Me: Hmm..we’ll have to see…anything else?

He: I love getting oral..

Me: Ok…so a GFE kind of thing?

He: Na…just oral really…

Me: Right…well, I can’t just spend an hour sucking cock. I’m not Henry the Hoover.

He: Well, I only want half an hour, so that’s ok.

Me: So.. you want me to change twice, and risk getting lockjaw?

He: Yeah, that’s £75, right?

Urgh… seriously, not that desperate. Sorry guys, but I do this for myself as much as you. Let’s try and make it a little bit more interesting! Won’t you get bored??!

Also, please remember dental hygiene.

I’m not one to moan about actual clients when I’ve seen them. I can pretty much find good things in every one of them, but Bad Breath is just unnecessary!

I’ve just had to completely detox my whole room, just because someone came in with the most ponging breath. I had to ask him to mouthwash twice, but nothing seemed to work. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to want kissing, which was great cos I wasn’t going anywhere near that face anyway. But 2 hours with that breath? I nearly cried and begged him to take the money back, as long as he never darkened my doorstep again. seriously, I think he’s melted my toe nail varnish from where he was licking them.

But money from hard appointments like that gets set aside as ‘spurge funds’. It means I should have followed my gut, and not taken it. But I did, so now I have cash I wouldn’t have had anyway…let’s spend! So I have a ’24’ boxset winging it’s way to me as it speaks, and a mental appointment to go mad in Vivien of Holloway.

I also bought my train tickets to EDINBURGH! Which, let’s not forget, will be my destination of choice for a rare tour on the 3rd-6th of November!

Ooh…and whilst we’re promoting, dont forget the Curvy Girl Party is only 2 WEEKS away! I’m as excited as a wasp in a window!

Right, I’m signing off now I’ve had a bit of a rant.

Go forth about your business, young minions.

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