You can reach me by caravan, or cross the desert like an Arab man..

Dear Obvious Idiot no #36,789

Thank you for pointing out that I’m a hard lady to get hold of, but I think you’ll find several errors in that sentence. ie –

I’m not, not at all. As well as calling me  – which I see you did, with 4 missed calls all done within 3 minutes of each other – you can leave a voicemail, send a text, an email, send a form from my site, tweet, leave a blog comment…hell,  I’ll even get some seeds ready for any pigeons you want to send over.

Surprisingly enough, I don’t have a secretary, P.A, or a call centre on hand to take my calls when I’m busy…for three minutes. And if you use your common sense, you’ll realise why I NEVER call back a missed call, unless you’ve specifically told me to.

Why not use you head, and leave a message. Or even try calling later in the day, when I might not be in an appointment/driving/on the loo/having a life.

So the reason you didn’t get an appointment is not because I don’t go to your area. I’d quite happily do it if you hadn’t opened with such an idiotic line.  Why does anyone think that opening with a smart arse line/complaint is going to make us want you anywhere near our lovely bodies?

Seriously Gents, please remember that appointments with gals like us are a privilege, not a right.

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