I’ve started, so I’ll finish…

So,  whilst I was watching Billie Piper meeting the real Belle Du Jour last night, I realised that she was pretty much asking the same questions everyone asks me. From friends to clients, it’s always the same ones, and I thought it might be handy to write the answers here.

Now, I missed the first ten minutes, so I’ve put in a few random ones. And if anyone has any further questions..just ask. As long as they’re polite ones!

What happens on an all nighter?

I’ve only done a few of these, and I’ve given up completely. I generally have to lay down the law beforehand, and it can really ruin the mood. But I really need to make clear that I will need sleep, and refreshments. I’m not asking for champagne and oysters, but obviously water/tea/coffee would go down a treat.

A meal beforehand can be such a double edged sword. Whilst it’s nice to have one and be fuelled for what’s to come, it also weighs heavy on your (already rather nervous) stomach. And at some point, it’s gonna have to come back out.

My first all nighter was to a rather scratty hotel, with no refreshments on offer. It was one of those that doesn’t have a fridge, and barely any room service, so I spent most of the time drinking water from the bathroom. Not too pleasant. My second was much more luxurious, but as the guy was high on coke, it lasted a loooong time. My third was fortunately cut short when he realised he couldn’t get it up as  – again – he had taken rather too much Columbian talc.

The problem with these kind of guys is they think we’re up for doing it too, and want to go all night. When, in actual fact, we’ve had a busy day doing our own thing, and have the same the next day.

So IF I was ever to do it (and I’d only do it with a regular) my rule now is ‘A light meal to start with, with plenty of private time in the room. But refreshments should be available, and I want a minimum 6 hours interrupted sleep…no no nipple twisting in the middle of the night! Then more fun in the morning before I go.’ See? Told you… moodkiller.

What was your strangest Appointment?

My most strangest is appointments are also my most favourite! It’s always good to throw something new into the mix 🙂

But on this particular one, I met a gent at Marble Arch, and he had to be my personal money slave. He walked behind me into shops, and went straight to the counter where he just paid for everything I bought to it. I got some funny looks, but it was well worth it! I wish I had used the opportunity more, as I didnt know much about money slaves back then, but now I have a really good idea of how to exploit them more!

I then had to go back to his place, and defile his wife’s underwear by rubbing them on him, and spitting and stamping on them, and generally being quite mean to him about her! She wasn’t there, you understand, but it was all jolly good fun anyway!

What is the average age of your clients?

There really isn’t one! I have no particular ‘type’ or ‘age’ or..well..anything. They’re all different. I guess on average I get guys between 30-55, but I couldnt get any more specific than that. And no, a majority of them aren’t big, or black. I have to remind a lot of guys who ask that – strangely enough – big people don’t necessarily fancy other big people.

How do you feel about the more stranger stuff, like peeing?

Absolutely fine. I don’t mind peeing on anybody. I wouldn’t go too much further than that, but watersports is very easy because they just sit in the bath and we can shower up afterwards. Always enjoyable when it’s in a big hotel room bath! I wouldn’t want it done to me though, lets make that very clear…

What made you start?

Because I could. It came as such a surprise to me that there were BBW escorts out there, that I just had to throw myself in! My lovelife – incase you haven’t noticed – has never been in great shape. So after my nth one night stand (I didn’t go into them thinking they’d be one night stands. They just turned out that way) I realised I could have a lot more fun, and rent money, being paid to do this shit! And I did!! My bank account increased, the feeling of being used decreased, and I haven’t had a one night stand since because my self esteem has bulged to the point of bursting.

And I love sex. And money. And, actually, I meet a lot of great, interesting people! I’d miss you lot, I really would.

Do we glamorise Prostitution?

I think it depends on your perception, and common sense. If you have common sense, you’ll realise that whilst we glamorise it to a degree, we also demand the respect that comes with that ‘glamour’. And a good escort will reciprocate that. What Im saying is that if you’re paying £150 to spend an hour with someone, you’ll be expecting someone who’ll make the best of that money, and we will, as long as you realise we’re not streetwalking, drug addled hookers who’ll just do anything for the cash.

This is, of course, all coming from the angle that you have the perception to realise I’m talking about escorting. Not streetwalking, not trafficking, but escorting. A lot of people might take that question to mean do we glamorise ALL prostitution, and I don’t think there’s any way in hell you can glamorise people trafficking. Unfortunately, we live in a society where a guy would rather write a negative report on punterlink, and get a shag for £20 than just maybe call the police on a cheap brothel. Even when they ‘Obviously didn’t want to be there’ or ‘was surrounded by big burly guys in a shitty apartment’ or maybe they ‘ begged me to call the police’ (which are all sentences I’ve seen on field reports!).

What do you think of people who have been inspired to start?

I don’t really know. I get quite a few emails from people saying ‘Hey! I’ve seen your site, and I’m a BBW! I’m size 16 and loads of people say I’m big…’. A lot of times they’ll be young, so young it’ll all be in text speak. And it’s obvious they’re uncomfortable with their weight..so they might do themselves more harm than good walking into a room with someone who immediately wants them to take their clothes off. I made a pact with myself when the fit hit the shan with another WG who helped newbies that I would only help people I know from my real life.

After all, I struggled and strived to start up myself. You need that common sense, ambition, and the lesson you learn from your mistakes to keep going, rather than just a profile page on a free escorting site somewhere.

So..if you want to do it, make sure you have a head about yourself. Enough common sense to realise you wont be getting paid just to be taken on fancy dinner dates without any nookie expected is a good start.

When did you decide you didn’t want to do it?

I’m not entirely sure I’d ever give up, but I will be cutting back when things in life and in general settle a bit. I’ve had to put plans on hold for various reasons, but instead of totally retiring, I’m going for a revamp. Happening soon people, I promise!

If you had to expose yourself, what would your family and friends think?

Most of my friends know, and are entirely unsurprised, and totally supportive. Im not entirely sure my family would be totally phased either. I think they all thought I’d end up running a dungeon anyway. This is kind of the same, just with less latex…]

Have you ever sploshed?

Yes, both privately and personally. Always very messy!

Most amount of people in one night?

Now, now… something one never discusses is how many clients we see 😉

Anyone Famous?

Not that I know of. But I have met a load of people who have been involved with – what I would call – Very Cool Stuff! So that would generally involve music, books, or events that I love.

Any Regrets?

A couple, but nothing big. They mainly go along the line of ‘I wish I’d called that guy a prick before I hung up on him!’

So there we go! Hope that’s answered some burning questions. Or at least some mildy chaffing ones….


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