Nothing much.

I definitely need to get out more.

Ok, ok, so hearing about other people’s dreams is boring. But here’s what happens when you watch Billie Piper advertising the new series of Secret Diary, and Celebrity Big Brother. With a little bit of X factor thrown in..

So, I had apparently found my fame and fortune as a BBW escort blogger (which, believe me, is not what I’m looking for. Otherwise I’d spellcheck a lot more often for a start!) and was invited onto one of these Strictly Dancing with the Stars with X factor on Ice Who Think They Can Dance type things, along with Danni Minogue. And I had invested in this gorgeous corset number to wear. Only the next day, she vented to the newspapers that Big girls shouldnt wear stuff like tight corsets because ‘Stuff just hangs out and you can see everything.’ Well, boo you Danni Minogue!

Of course, the next week she was all smiles and publicly apologised, but I was still very disgruntled. I still am! But what was really weird was then being invited to the Celebrity Big Brother wrap party, which turned out to be just a massive orgy. So – from what I hazily remember – Vinnie Jones, Alex reid and myself were having an awful lot of fun on a sofa, whilst Stephen Baldwin turned out to be more of a voyeur in the corner…None of the girls were in sight, but I remember Alex Reid turning out to be a massive BBW fan! I mean, he was seriously obsessed with my belly! He was getting quite intimate with my belly button…Jonas, alas, was nowhere to be seen. But then neither were any of the girls, so I got them all to myself! I can’t remember Dane Bowers either. But then, thats not unusual..

So there we go. My weird dream. I bet you’re well glad you just wasted the last 5 minutes of your life reading that…

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One Response to “Nothing much.”

  1. Paul Says:

    What a great read! Had you been eating cheese at all that night?! 🙂

    I had a barmy one recently, I was a personal house-servant (no, not *that* kind of servant) to Tracy Ann Oberman, no less. She was friendly but very loud… she also had a little bell she’d rattle when she wanted service!

    Rarely remember my dreams, I’m kinda glad of that sometimes…

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