The Ice Queen Cometh!

So my back’s still buggered after a week 😦 I went to the doctors, and he said the coccyx is too close to all the baby making stuff to take an x-ray, and I guess they’re afraid of making X-Men babies in the future.

I’ve resorted to leaving a message on my machine, basically saying I can’t take appointments because of personal injury, and you’d be amazed how many Obvious Idiots are ignoring it!

Not just ignoring it, but sending texts demanding to know the address, and what time they should turn up. Then they do it again, in caps – just in case I didn’t quite get it the first time. Then I ultimately get a rude message because I’ve ignored them – even though I’ve had the forethought to warn them on my site I don’t reply to texts, and Ive left a nice message saying I cant do an appointment, and why.

Not only that, but I’m currently being bombarded by calls by someone who couldnt quite get to grips with polite behaviour. Thank heavens for clever blacklists!

I had a booking at 4.30, and happily had the required 2 hours notice. Brilliant start! Until he turns up an hour early. Now, Im not sure if you’ve seen the weather, but for me to turn up on time is a feat in itself! But I made it, was perfectly on time in my own schedule, so no – I couldn’t see him earlier. I can’t see anyone earlier. Seriously people, timing is everything!

I explain he’s going to have to wait until the alloted time. But half an hour later (whilst Im still in the bath) 2 more missed calls. Ten minutes later, another call. By this time, Im a little peeved…But after I explain for the 3rd time thats he’s going to have to wait, I get a quite angry ‘Right, well can you just tell what it is I’m waiting for exactly?’

What you’re waiting for?

What you’re waiting for??

I’m aghast. I explain briefly what he’s waiting for..not very well because I am – as I said – aghast.

There’s obviously no way I want someone with an attitude anywhere near me or my work flat, so explain it’s better he sees someone else. We have a right to do that, you know. No matter how far you’ve travelled, or how cold it is outside….A shitty attitude gets you stranded in North London without a snowballs chance in hell of getting some Melody McLovin’.

I explained it a little better in a text, also pointing out that I only see polite gentlemen.

So todays bit of free advice is to Obey the Rules, and Be Nice.

But I’m sure you’ve heard that before!

And in case any of you were in doubt of what you’re waiting for when we politely advise you to give us plenty of notice and turn up on time, here’s a few clues;

*An appointment might already be taking place with someone else. Would you like someone waiting in the flat or constantly calling me whilst it was on your time?

*We usually have to travel to our working flats. I give myself plenty of time – especially in this weather – but it still needs to be done.

*Sheets need changing, towels need cleaning, floors need sweeping, carpets need hoovering, and in this weather, muddy footprints need wiping up. As much as it’s nice to think it’s just the woman you’re seeing that matters, we all know that a stained sheet isn’t pleasant for anyone.

*We need changing, hair needs cleaning, legs need sweeping shaving etc. We need to get preened, pampered, and looking perfect. Just for you.

Y’see, we appreciate the fact that £75, 0r £150 is a lot of money to some people, so we want it to be the best possible experience. But perfection takes time, and just a drop of patience.

Yes, I felt sorry for him out in the cold, but if someones going to give me a shitty attitude just because they have to wait ten more minutes (that was literally all he had to do by the time he called the 4th time) then I kind of get the feeling I got a lucky escape…

So thats when I put the message on my phone. I would have happily seen him, but now I’ve buggered the back up by cleaning and running round, and frankly just feeling like some people have more front than Frinton….and I’m in no mood for a donkey ride.



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