The bad boys are always catching my eye…

Well, Nahoblopomo went quickly by the wayside..

And for good reason; my cat got run over 😦 It was one hell of a tragedy as she was being looked after by someone else whilst I was in New York..and stayed for a little longer for Paree…but she was hit before I could pick her up the following weekend. I shan’t bore and depress you all with the details as I have a whole bunch of people in my real life who’ve heard it all, and been just fabulous. But as for you lot, you just need to know that last week was a bad one.

Plus Im having boy troubles. Gahhhhhrghrghr! I swear to god, if I wasn’t selling sex, I’d never get any. I’m surprisingly frigid in real life. In my naivite, I mistook myself as being self-confident, and independent enough to carry a fair old whack of self-esteem. Just enough to get past the whole ‘If I sleep with him, he’ll like me more!’ mentality. Turns out that no, thats just fridgedness. Apparently.

A little hard to explain, but I like to keep several pokers in the fire – so to speak – when Im dating. (In fairness, I also expect this of the guys too. Then you know you got the right one, and not just the first one..) But all my pokers have turned out to be rather…umm…unsuitable.

It’s at times like these when I have to turn to one of my favourite people of all time. C.J Cregg, from West Wing (Particularly from ‘Faith Based Initiative’, where her role as one of the most powerful women in America has called into questions her sexuality…Typical.) –

Im crazy about this particular man I just met and had two fabulous dinners with in the space of one week. A man who hasn’t had the courtesy to call me today – probably because he’s simply of the undependable gender, or – come to think of it – maybe he has less of an idea about how to deal with my alleged and fictitious lesbianism than I do. So he’ll just remain silent, like a submarine under the ice cap, and just drift away. Drift away like the other legion of cowards who I spent my younger life staring at the phone, panting like an exquisite collie hoping for table scraps, until I became successful, and suddenly started to scare them. Scare them with the very independence they required me to have. So right now, Im looking at some bad numbers. Some really rough stuff, if you know what Im talking about. But what was I supposed to do? Turn down the opportunity……….You just want to share it with someone, you know?

Yes CJ, I know. I have all this money, time, tales and- frankly – damn good sexual prowess…and sometimes, sometimes I do just want to share it all with someone.

So when boy a, b, c and d all turn out to be loose ends, highly undependable, incredibly unsuitable, or just plain scary (and apparently quite happy drifting along under the ice caps)… you wonder just what, or who, the future holds.

And then I get a call, and an hour later the most gorgeous man in the world walks in, and actually pays me to let him plunge his head between my thighs for half an hour….and I lie back, and think ‘Fuck It’.

My job may not be at the top of everyone’s career ladder, but there’s nothing better to get you over those heartbreaking flunks!

Normal service will resume. Tomorrow, I promise. Hopefully…


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