Come Back Around

A new passion in my life has become ‘The Thick of It’. Or, more precisely, Malcolm Tucker. So I would now like to quote one of his many sermons –

Tuckers Law – “If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up cause that cunt’s a cunt.”

And right now, I feel like said cunt.

Or at least my back does.

For a slightly strange reason I’ve woken up with a massive sprain in my back! I mean, I literally couldnt stand up this morning, so I’ve spent the morning lying down on the sofa, chomping down paracetamols and crisps. And it hasn’t done a damn thing!

Ok, I can stand a bit better, but the rub of it is I was supposed to have an erotic wrestling session this afternoon. I hardly ever get to do them, and after reading Miss Kinky La Rue’s adventures in the world of scissor moves and clamp-like thighs, I was quite looking forward to it! I have quite a big bed which is good for it, but – in full accordance with Tuckers Law- my back has chosen the worst time to fuck up. Bottoms.

The best I can do is pass on her number as I really don’t want to make it worse.

And yes, I have my suspicions about whats caused it. Torrid.

Torrid is a brilliant plsu size store in America, which not only sells clothes for the younger BBW, but also fairly kinky outfits! And ysterday they had a half price sale on t’internet. Unfortunately, they seemed to have underestimated the amount of fat girls who would like nice, cheap clothing, so the website was slooow…I mean, I could have sent pidgeons and probably got a quicker service.

I spent the whole day battling with it, only for various things to go wrong. Finally, at around 1am, I finally got to the checkout with $300 worth of fantastic clothes, most of which were things which my customers would have appreciated very much! Only to be told my english card wouldn’t work on their system.


And now I fear that spending all day hunched over my netbook and stressing out so much has left my back all knotted up.

So, any clients wanting to see me today, or in fact anyone wanting to see me in some top class kinky outfits should send a letter of complaint straight to Torrid. Tell them to get more bandwidth, and that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my hard earned English moneys!!!


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4 Responses to “Come Back Around”

  1. Brandy aka "Kinky" Says:

    Let’s just hope you’re fighting fit for our bash next month Mel. And thank you for the referral.

  2. David Says:

    Hi Melody
    So how’s your back today?
    My BBW (M) and I had never heard of Torrid before, and after seeing it mentioned on your blog, searched it out and had considerably more success than you, oh-er, sorry…
    Our English pounds seemed to be quite acceptable to them, so maybe you just hit them on a bad day.
    (*Sudden run on 42HH bras, they’ll be thinking at Torrid…)
    So, hope you get better soon and get back on to your finest blogform – love your way with words, so look forward to the next adventure.

  3. Miss M Says:

    Yeah..the stuff they had on the first day was a lot better, thats when everyone goes a bit mental on the site. And they take credit cards perfectly well, just not debit cards 😦 Still, now you know you can always buy me pretty stuff from Torrid! 😉

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