And it starts all over again…

Why, oh why do men sound sooo surprised if we can’t see them Right Now. I mean, they seem to completely forget that they will need time to travel to us anyway, and that we don’t spend our days sat in our undies awaiting their voice…

No, instead we get –

‘Hello? When are you available?

‘Well, like it says several times, in bold, underlined, and often italicised on my website, I need two hours notice.’

‘Can you do in half an hour?’

No, because you’re obviously an idiot and I have a severe allergy to Obvious Idiots, so if you come anywhere near me, I’m afraid I might break into uncontrollable screaming and flailing of my arms until I hit solid flesh.Your solid flesh.

‘Err….possibly’ (Thats if I’m nice and at the flat already, let alone with clean hair, shaved legs, and tidied up)

‘Hmm… might be a bit too late for me. I’ll get back to you’

Please, for the love of god, don’t bother. Go and see some skanky ho who can see you in 5 minutes because she has no pride in her work, sticky condoms on the pillow, hairy legs and still smells suspiciously like her last customer…

..and yes, you’ll probably take half an hour to get there anyway. Good luck with that!

And it doesn’t end there my lovelies. Oooh no…

A call last night (Sunday), around 10pm, asking for domination, humiliation, and forced feminisation. Normally, thats all fine. Although he was determined to fit all three into half an hour – which send alarm bells ringing – and he wanted me to supply his ‘costume’…..wherein it takes me about 5 minutes to explain why I don’t have any clothes for him to wear. And why the hell would I? If I was expected to supply clothes for everyone who wanted forced feminisation, I’d have a wardrobe to rival Ru Pauls.

Oh yes, thats right, because they expect us to have anything and everything they want for their fantasy. So when, at 10pm, someone calls me and asks if they can come over, be forced to wear sexy lingerie, then of course I have it! Of course it’s the perfect fit, and of course they’re a tight little bugger who only wants half an hour!

For some bizarre reason, the thought hadn’t occurred to them to buy their own.

No, instead I should pull it out of my arsehole at 10pm on a Sunday night. Screw it, 10pm on ANY night is still going to end in the same completely impolite 2 words. I’m not about to dive to Marks & Sparks at any time to pick someone up any kind of lingerie whatsoever.

When I pointed out the hole in his logic, and explained I wouldnt be seeing him due to a sudden, irrational case of flailing arms, sudden screaming etc, I was promptly sent a text calling me a Moody Cow.

I’ve never had anyone book a force-fem session without showing up with their own stuff. And they’re the best. We have fun because they enjoy what they’re wearing because they picked it out themselves…they know it’s sexy for them, and they love it! I’ve had people book fem sessions, and asked me to supply stuff (only small things, which I could if given enough notice, like tights or hold-ups) and they inevitably end up being a timewaster. So now I leave it to them – a real man buys his own stockings!

So, in a moment of pure rage (normally I’d just ignore them), I replied. Fuck it, I was bored. Plus I was enraged that this guy had wanted humiliation, and flew off the handle at the first hurdle! How the hell would he have  reacted if he’d actually been humiliated?

Yep. Not very well, Im betting.

Fortunately, my suspicions that he was a complete mentalist were confirmed in his next pathetic, begging text blaming the fact that he hasn’t had sex in ten years for his behaviour.  Which promptly got ignored…as did the next one which appeared to be begging me for psychiatric help!

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why one never takes an appointment from a man who wont buy his own knickers.

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