Necessity is the mother of all invention…

..which is possibly why I just felt the need to spend a vast amount of money on Lovehoney.com.

I was struck with a huge bout of horniness last night, and so I dusted off the vibrators – in this line of work, I don’t have much of a need for them, as you can imagine! But that still wont stop the occasional scratch that needs itching… πŸ˜‰ – only to find none of them were working properly!!

Apparently, my Lampost Interference Syndrome has stretch to my sex life 😦 One of them buzzes on/off/on a little/ totally off/on full throttle/on a bit/totally off. Now, I like surprises…just not when I’m gearing myself up for a massive orgasm..

Another one has decided to just stay at one speed. And that one speed is ‘Pathetic’. Whilst another has decided to opt for ‘Power drill’. Ouch!

After a good long, frantic search, I finally found my my faithful rabbit at the bottom of a suitcase – but as I obviously hadn’t stored it away properly, it just looked too dusty to be of any use without risk of a major infection.

And the trusty bullets had – typically – all run out of batteries. And as they all run on those tiny watch ones, there was no chance I had any stashed away. Who the hell does?! Show me someone with a spare stash of watch batteries, and I’ll show you someone more in need of a life than I am.

So anyone looking through my bins this morning might get a slight surprise! Still, at least I remember to take out all the batteries. God know what kind of fine I would have got if one of them started buzzing away…

But this does mean I have a package of brand spanking new toy coming in – hopefully tomorrow! I’m venturing into glass dildo’s, and even have a remote control bullet than can be set off via texts & phone calls. If youre lucky, I’ll give you the number πŸ˜‰

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