Deliver us from evil….

So, this morning I woke up, flicked on the radio, and Kate Bush* was playing. Well, before I managed to finish my coffee, I was suddenly Gay! Can you believe it?! That’s right…she once kissed a girl (maybe she liked it, but as she didn’t carry on kissing girls, I’m not so sure…) I then listened to one of her songs, and now I’m a banging homosexual!

Well, thats according to These Idiots anyway.

Slipknot – Make up. Ok, but their make up isn’t exactly mascara and lipstick.…psycho clown.

Bob Mould – So..just Bob. No other Husker Du-ers get the same treatment. Even though as a solo artist, his songs sound like they’ve been written, performed and produced in Mansville, Butch Valley, United States of Hetrosexuality.

The Butchies – Lizbians?!!?? The hell is a Lizbian?!!

Eagles Of Death Metal – Ever seen them? Those two are men. Big manly men..Mmmm……Sorry, I just need a minute or two by myself…

The Grateful Dead – Drugs Too! Like…none of the other bands have done drugs?! Fuck me, it’s almost like they’re telling their mum about some wrong doing in the playground. Plus I’m betting Mr Donnie Davie himself is snorting some of Columbia’s best from the genitals of Peruvian midgets.

Maralyn Mansun – Dark Gay. Well, I’m so glad to know there are different types of Gay. I wonder what kind of gay I am? They should do medical research into this stuff.

Elton John – Gets two mentions because he is *drumroll* VERY gay! Oh my!

Coldplay – No Arguement. Coldplay CD’s should be burnt anyway.

Lets have a look and see who’s on the ‘Safe’ List…

Cyndi Lauper – Who did an interview on Gaydar recently! And isn’t she a major Gay Icon anyway? Last I heard, ‘True Colours’ was to Coming Out as Coldplay is to running nails down Tom Yorke’s back.

Dresden Dolls – So…not heard ‘Oasis’ by lead singer Amanda Palmer then? Kind of deals with rape, abortion and annoying fundamentalist Christians in a jolly kind of way!

Blondie – but with mysterious asterisks…so…I’m thinking that she’s still a bit of a gay, but it’s OK cos Mr Donnie thinks she hot.

Maybe my hatred of this shizzle is magnified because Mr Donnie looks like a kiddy fiddler. And he’s wearing a pink shirt……..GAY!
*Am I alone in thinking they meant Katey Perry?



2 Responses to “Deliver us from evil….”

  1. Anika Says:

    No need for hatred! While there are probably a few people out there who have looked at the list and taken it as a serious warning, the people who wrote it clearly don’t. Read it again and you’ll see the jokes.

  2. Anika Says:

    (Oh hey, this post is really old. Blame the feed, it delivered it four days ago.)

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