We’ll get it on like Sid & Nancy!

Last night, a text-‘I wana see you, and become friends wd u, im really sexy.’

Finally…finally some random browsing my website has decided to text me out of the blue and offer themselves as a friend, or even a fuck buddy if I’m really lucky! Cos, y’know, the one thing I’m lacking in this job is sex.

And you’re sexy? Oh wow! If your grasp of the english language is anything to go by, you’re my idea of complete, utter perfection. The way you weave your words so smoothly, so poetically, so sexily. My knickers are wet just thinking about it. You are a sculptor, and the English language is your rock!

Yes! Lets do it! Lets run away together like love birds in paradise. I’ll frolick naked in a field whilst you read me Blake, Wordsworth, Byron and Shelley! I “wana” fill your world with love and beauty! I “wana” have your babies! Be friends “wd” me sexy…be friends and hang the world and whatever it may think of our whirlwind, wild romance! We’ll be Bonny & Clyde, Romeo & Juliet, Fred & Wilma!

You’re the one for me, sexy. Obviously. You are the one I really, really love.

Y’know, no matter how many texts/calls/emails like this I get, they never fail to make me want to throw away my phone laugh!


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